


The Avengers VS Technology

by Gothic_Lolita



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avengers Family, Because Fucking Pietro, Crack, Domestic Avengers, Ficlet Collection, Fluff, Gen, Multi, Other, Pietro Maximoff Lives, Technology, The True Evil Of The World, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 16:18:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12346221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gothic_Lolita/pseuds/Gothic_Lolita
Summary: A collection of ficlets surrounding the many struggles the Avengers face with their worst enemy.Modern technology.





	1. Selfies

**Author's Note:**

> So as I mentioned in my fic All You Are Is All I Need, I'm kind of sick, you could call it. TLDR, I deal with lifelong (don't worry, NOT life-threatening) health issues that have me severally fucked over in life. Multiple medications, doctor's visits at least monthly, constantly missing school, and just being out of service a lot. It's been getting a bit worse lately, and I may have a surgery coming up, depending on how my next appointment goes. (Third one this year. Whoo, breaking personal records!)  
> Anywho, the author is a sickly stick (hey, does this make me pre-serum Steve?) of a human being and it's impairing my ability to write consistently.  
> So I figured this was perfect. No pressure for fast updates, they're fast and easy yet amusing, and easy for me write. And I don't have to worry about ships. Most of these I got ideas from Tumblr headcanons, or I just imagined in my cyborg brain. If you have an idea/prompt, lemme know. These should be between 100-500 words each. Enjoy.

"I take better selfies than you do!" Sam argued.

Clint scoffed. "Please, no one is on my level of selfies."

"Prove it." Sam challenged.

"Fine, we both take a selfie, who'sever gets the most likes wins." Clint offered.

"What's a selfie?" Bucky cut in, glancing up from his book.

Clint scooted over to him, showing Bucky his phone. "So you know how new smartphones have a front camera, right?" Bucky nodded. "Well, when you take a picture of yourself, with the front camera, it's called a selfie." Clint demonstrated by taking a selfie with Bucky, who scowled.

"The future is idiotic," Bucky muttered and went back to his book.

"Maybe, but you're  _ **so**_  on birdbrain,"  Sam said.

They both stormed out of the room, on the hunt for the perfect selfie. Bucky seemed to be the only one who noticed Tony smirking in the corner of the room.

 

* * *

 

"Mine is winning." Clint sang, waving his phone around.

Sam rolled his eyes. "We're neck and neck. Wait a few minutes, I'll pull ahead. I'm better, and I'll win." He said confidently.

"Actually, you're both losers," Tony said, sauntering into the room.

"What?" Clint blinked.

Tony smirked. "You're losers."

Sam narrowed his eyes, yanking out his phone. "No you didn't, you did _ **not**_." He checked social media and groaned. "Oh come **_on_**!"

Clint checked his own phone and made a face. "Show off."

Tony shrugged and walked out of the room with a self-satisfied smirk.

On Tony's feed, was a selfie in his Iron Man armor, with the New York City skyline in the background, Tony was smirking and making a peace sign. The selfie had double the amount of likes as Clint's and Sam's. Combined.


	2. Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter summaries are stupid and I rally against them. But coffee!

Bucky stared at all of the machines in front of him like they were about to explode. Why on earth were there so  _ **many**_?

"Oh, you look so lost." Clint snorted. "Okay, that's the espresso machine, it's Nat's. That's an old-fashioned coffee pot, Steve's. The French press is Wanda's and Pietro's. That's not even for coffee, it's Bruce's tea kettle. The Moka pot is T'Challa's. The Keurig is Sam's and Rhodey's.  The coffee urn is Thor's because yes, the man manages to drink the whole thing. The regular coffee pot is mine. And Tony always orders coffee out in the morning."

"But... which one makes  _ **coffee**_?" Bucky asked slowly.

"All of them." Clint smiled. "Well, except the tea kettle." He amended.

"I... I think I'm going to just have smoothies in the morning." Bucky said, staring wide-eyed.

Clint nodded. "Good idea. Which blender do you want?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know too many types of coffee makers...


	3. 'A Twerk'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'll admit it, more pop culture than technology. But fuck it, Google is mentioned, we'll go with it.

"What is 'a twerk'?" Vision asked, all too calmly for the topic at hand.

Pietro choked on his water and spit it out. He doubled over laughing.

"I agree with friend Vision!" Thor boomed. "What is this thing you mortals call 'a twerk'?"

"You... you do not wish to know." Pietro forced out between wheezes.

"Should I as you say, Google it?" Vision asked, tilting his head to the side.

"I would highly suggest against it," Rhodey warned. "Operation Keep Vision From Googling Things exists for your own safety, man."

Vision frowned, and Wanda gave him a sympathetic smile. "Trust me Viz, it really does."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Vision. And Thor. And Steve. And Bucky. And- holy shit, half of the Avengers are completely out of it on modern... anything.  
> Damn.


	4. An 'Expert'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's arm, because it counts.

"I am a goddamned  _ **engineer**_! I can do a better job!" Tony argued.

T'Challa sighed impatiently. "My country has technology vastly beyond the rest of the world's, of which I have extensive knowledge on. I can most  _ **certainly**_  do a better job."

Bucky watched them argue back and forth. "I just want a small thing fixed. My pinky won't bend." He muttered.

Bruce rolled his eyes. "Come here, it'll take me two seconds." He gestured. Bucky shrugged and offered his arm to Bruce. The man had his pinky fixed as promised, within seconds after snatching up a few of Tony's tools.

"Thank you. I'm going to you for my arm from now on," Bucky said, wigging his working fingers.

"Hey, this was a one-time thing. Cybernetics isn't my area of expertise." Bruce said, shaking his head.

Bucky looked back to the still bickering and oblivious duo. "I think I'd take a chance with a non-expert then ask either of them ever again."

Bruce pursed his lips and sighed in defeat. "I can't even argue with that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Bruce... and Bucky, really. Poor everyone in this shitpost of a fic.


	5. What's That?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I forgot about this. Alas, I have come back to it!

Bucky walked into the kitchen and found Tony's helmet sitting on the counter. Out of pure curiosity, he pulled it on.

" _Hello, Mister- you're not Mister Stark._ " A metallic female voice with a slight accent filled Bucky's ears.

Bucky jumped, then looked around. There were all sorts of codes and other things in a glowing blue around the eye slots he saw out of. How did Tony process all of this information? He got an idea. "Hey, what's that?" Bucky asked the woman in the helmet, pointing to a device he didn't know.

" _A vacuum cleaner_?" The female voice sounded a bit confused.

"Oh." Bucky nodded. "What's that?" He asked, pointing to a new device.

" _A refrigerator_."

Bucky shook his head. "No, ** _that_**." He corrected.

" _A microwave_."

"What's it do?" Bucky asked, tilting his head to the side.

" _It is a device used to heat up foods._ "

"Why's it called a microwave?" Bucky frowned.

" _Because that's the wave frequency it uses to vibrate water molecules to create heat._ " The voice explained.

Bucky nodded. "And what's that?"

 

* * *

 

"Has anyone seen my helmet?" Tony called out, wandering the compound. He was startled to find Bucky sitting in the kitchen, wearing it.

"What does it do?" Bucky asked FRIDAY, or at least Tony assumed he was talking to FRIDAY.

"Uh hey, Bucky? Can I have my helmet?" Tony asked, standing in from of him.

"No." Bucky snapped. 

Tony groaned. "Bucky, you can talk to FRIDAY without the helmet, you know that, right?"

Bucky rose the helmet just enough to glower at Tony, then lowered it back down.

Tony paled. "Nevermind. Keep it. I'll... I'll just build a new helmet."

 

 


	6. The Remote

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two in a day. I'm so awesome.

"Why are there three remotes?" Steve asked, staring at them with wide eyes.

Clint shrugged. "I don't know."

"Well, which one turns the tv on?" Steve frowned, picking on up and staring at it.

"Um, that one." Clint picked one, and pointed it at the tv, pushing the power button. Nothing happened.

Steve tried the one in his hand. "Maybe this one?" Nothing happened.

"So this one." Clint snatched up the third one. Nothing happened. "What the fuck?" Clint stared at the remote.

"Maybe we should ask for help." Steve offered.

"No, I'm from this century Cap, I can figure this out." Clint huffed, inspecting the remotes. "Maybe I just have to..."

"Clint, I think you're doing it wrong."

"Hush Steve, you're from the 40s, you don't know a thing."

"But you're not-"

"Yes I am, give me-"

"No, not like that-"

"I think Tony does it-"

"Maybe like-"

  
Tony stumbled into the living room, and Steve and Clint immediately stopped arguing.

Tony threw himself onto an empty couch. "FRIDAY, put the Discovery channel on." He ordered with a yawn.

The tv flickered to life and a documentary started playing.

Steve and Clint stared at each other. Clint groaned. "We're idiots."

**Author's Note:**

> I write best listening to Beyonce/Beyonce-style music, I've noticed.  
> I hate Beyonce. Ugh.


End file.
